Email samples from the mouth-breathing masses:

The first back and forth - drPump:

Site's been up for about a week and here's the first customer:

From: drPump [drpump@uplink.net]
Sent: Sunday, November 28, 1999 2:00 PM

Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron!

im so dumb.....i thought id email u.....but i forgot what i wuz gonna say.......
 
im dumb cuz i actually went to youaredumb........lol
 
all kinds of stuff out here.......this has got to be the dumbest..........chris/drpump
I can't remember how many people I actually responded to, it can't have been more than four or five:
To: 'drPump'
Sent: Friday, December 03, 1999 10:24 AM
Subject: RE: You're right! I *am* a moron!

Ever heard of a spell checker?  What about punctuation?
 
FYM, LOL
Would you keep replying back?  I wouldn't.
From: drPumpdrpump@uplink.net
Sent: Friday, December 3, 1999 11:05 AM
Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron!
brother whitey,,,,,,,,,
 
i never said u were a moron,,,,,,,,,and yes i have spell checkr...............y bother.........punk u a shun..........4who?
 
hey,,,,im sure there is method to your madness.....like my email address 4 who knows what......no matter.......
 
also i found ur page.........how i dont remember........but it caught my eye.....so i byte.....lol
 
keep having fun,,,,,,,,i am...............looks like u r 2...........
 
later.......chris / drPump.com
drPump sees the taunt.  He thinks it's 'f**k you man'
From: drPumpdrpump@uplink.net]
Sent: Friday, December 3, 1999 11:08 AM
Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron!
aaaaaa......... is fym ............f u man.........aaaaaah......and i thought we were friends.................later.....c.
drPump shows that he can do a 'whois' search.  I'm shaking.  He also continues to mistranslate FYM - it's not 'f**k you moron', it's 'F**K YOUR MOM'
From: drPump [drpump@uplink.net]
Sent: Friday, December 3, 1999 5:32 PM
Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron!
 
Jason,
 
    I trust that your site, 'youaredumb.com', is in good fun. 
    Of course I find 'it' a creative way to get an email address as well as search engine tracking.
    Thank you for your quick response.
    Allow me to apologize to you for the improper grammar and spelling in our previous correspondence.
    Also being slow as I am, perhaps I missed the FYM.
The M of course being Moron.
    Perhaps I am dumb because your letter bothered me.  As I am sure it is all in good fun.
 
Thank You for your attention to this matter,
Christopher W. Palmer / drPump.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next idiot - Akil:

Ok, Akil isn't necessarily dumb, he's just a big dork. From: Akil C. Narayan [mailto:aky@nwu.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 1999 12:10 AM
Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron!

Dear Whitney,

My name is Akil. I am dumb.  Just how dumb I cannot tell you, for I myself do not know.  Please help me in my quest for dumbness.

Purely dumb,

Akil

Akil Candadai Narayan
A.K.A. Ak, Aky, Akybaby, Akybaba, Ackul, Auckul, Harish, Hashish,
Canibis
the Infidel, Flashy Slick Suave Spanish Guy, etc., etc., etc.
Northwestern University
McCormick School of Engineering
2400 Sheridan Road, Room 329
Evanston, IL 60201-2984
(847) 332-6694
Aky@nwu.edu
AOL IM screen name: Aky of GCHS
ICQ #52529392, Akybaby
The name's not Whitney, it's Whitey, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty... Sent: Friday, December 03, 1999 9:31 AM
To: aky@nwu.edu
Subject: RE: You're right! I *am* a moron!

Nice nicknames, Akybaby.  Let's see... I'd say that you're doing quite well
on your quest for dumbness.  The name is Whitey, not Whitney - sorry to
disappoint.  I'd say that on a scale of one to ten with ten being the
absolute pinnacle of stupidity, you're a solid eight.  Keep up the good
work.

Out.

WHITEY - see, no "N"
Aky killed the whole responding to the morons thing.  It's just too boring.

From: Akil C. Narayan [mailto:aky@nwu.edu]
Sent: Friday, December 3, 1999 11:08 AM
Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron!

Dear Whitey,

I think your name should have an "N" in it.  After all, if you want to compete with my level of dumbness, you need to have a girl's name. 

I thank you for the complement about my stupidity.  I've been diligently working on it for all my life.  I hope you enjoyed my letter.  Please feel free to respond to my dumbness any time you choose.  I'll be looking forward to it...

Akybaby

          

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now some garden variety idiots.  You might notice some rather large gaps in time between the beginning and the end, it's because I killed the pc where 99% of my moron mail formerly lived.  It went something like this:  Got the applications and digital photos backed up? Check.  Got the music and videos backed up? Check.  Ok, reformat.  Two weeks later I realized that I'd lost this fantastic wealth of over 200 pieces of idiotic correspondence.  Keep 'em coming, morons.

I think I'm awesome too, ask anyone that knows me.

From: "Keith Ponis" <darkdynasty@hotmail.com> 

Subject: You are Cool!

Date: Fri, 03 Dec 1999 18:06:52 GMT

     

Awesome WS I thkn you are awesome!

From: Jslink29@aol.com

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 22:07:36 EDT

Subject: I'm a f***ing moron!

     

u are stupid

This jackass hit 'send' without actually typing a message.  Hail the king of the morons.

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2004 07:09:04 -0500

From: "Goldberg,Mark A." <MGOLDBER@travelers.com>

 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2004 09:22:48 -0500

From: "Wright,Melissa D." <MDWRIGHT@travelers.com> 

     

Dude!  Where’s my car?

Look kids - it's a gansta-talkin' Aussie!  G'day dawg!

From: "dldoeven" <dldoeven@eftel.net.au> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2004 11:24:07 +1100

     

yo what up son

picachica yeh wot dog

i am dumb

Because 'whattheshit1' to 'whattheshit1357' were taken.

From: "David Thomas" <whattheshit1358@hotmail.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Wed, 03 Mar 2004 18:58:25 -0500

     

hey whats up. just wanted to let you know your site is awesome. keep up the good work.

jake

By junior year you won't have time to reply to silly email requests.  You'll be busy pulling a train.

From: Sophmorebaby1@aol.com 

Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2004 20:39:04 EST

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

     

ok

From: Whiteland40@aol.com 

Date: Sat, 6 Mar 2004 00:54:48 EST

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

     

hello 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2004 17:18:11 -0500

From: "Rush, John" <jrush@archtest.com> 

     

I am dumb

Pat:  why are you surfing weird websites at church?  Hmmm?  Maybe.... SATAN?

From: "Pat Kahnke" <pat@stpaulfellowship.org> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2004 20:54:33 -0600

     

Hi, Bryan:

Yes, I am a freaking moron.  Let me in...

Pat

What?

From: ElvisElvis527@aol.com 

Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 15:18:44 EST

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

     

i'm so stoopid!!!!i don't no how to say the word that you spel "queer" 

From: "Michelle Turner" flanner4@netdoor.com

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 16:36:41 -0600

     

i am soooo stupid as hell !!! 

by: i don't no who????

From: "Courtney Turner" <lucky12@netdoor.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 16:40:39 -0600

     

if i be's stupid you be's stupid up in herre's !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: "Alain and Joyce" <ajfarmer@travel-net.com> 

Subject: freaking moron!

Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 18:40:40 -0500

     

Ur a freakin moron

Sean lives here: http://maps.yahoo.com/py/maps.py?Pyt=Tmap&&csz=LAKE_OSWEGO+OR+97034&Get%A0Map=Get+Map   His daddy's an orthopaedist.  Sean is a gerbil felcher.

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Fri, 12 Mar 2004 08:31:52 -0800

From: "DIPAOLA, SEAN" <DIPAO66402@loswego.k12.or.us>

     

hey fag boy

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Fri, 12 Mar 2004 18:21:33 -0000

From: "Richard F. Killick" <Richard@unimatrix001.co.uk> 

     

I’m a loser and I smell like poo signed by dom and so r u for making this website

I can't either.

From: "Eric Josserand" <EJosserand2@austin.rr.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Mon, 15 Mar 2004 00:54:48 -0600

     

I am the biggest fucking dumbass in the world.  I cant believe I clicked this link.  Wow! 

Derek tries this approach first.

From:   "john smith" <derekmolson@hotmail.com> 

Subject:            I'm a freaking moron!

Date:    Tue, 16 Mar 2004 18:06:34 -0800

i i put aa cheez in mi toe  anded pazzed out for a hole minnut.i i u also gotted a fissy and putted it it in my asf,.ave u ever doned that fore.

  duh huh huh!

It took him 12 minutes to cook up this witty addendum.

From: "john smith" <derekmolson@hotmail.com> 

Subject: READ THIS

Date: Tue, 16 Mar 2004 18:18:57 -0800

     

you are DUMB! who the hells going to buy a website with a few words!that is DUMB! i bet hardly anyone goes onto your DUMB ASS website! do you have a freakin brain you DUMB piece of crap. I HATE YOUR WEBSITE! IT SUCKS ASS! so add something too it or get a whole different website and put it to good use. you are truly a f*cking MORON! please take this advice and thanks for nothing BITCH!!!!!!!

Hi Stupid Natalie

From: "d645" <d645@glenmoor.bournemouth.sch.uk> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2004 14:07:31 -0000

     

im stupid natalie 

From: "Simon J Edwards" <simon@sjedwards.com>  Add to Address Book

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2004 22:35:50 -0800

     

i am...

From: "Simon J Edwards" <simon@sjedwards.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2004 22:36:28 -0800

     

i am stupid...cause im not really this person...soo..this person...is dumb to let me do this.

Date: Thu, 01 Apr 2004 15:27:22 -0600

From: "Jessica Jacobs" <c7jacobj@elmbrook.k12.wi.us> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

     

hi 

From: "becky cerro" <shining_articuno@hotmail.com> 

Subject: im a freaking moron

Date: Fri, 02 Apr 2004 00:10:01 +0100

     

i am a moron. i am 17 yrs old. i like pokemon! and i like to play with my friends. they are all younger than me. i am too sad for anyone else to make friends wit!

From: "dee" <buttstick2@unitz.ca> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Fri, 2 Apr 2004 14:49:15 -0800

     

im a freakin moron. and i like to hump boys.

From:    SwimQueen14578@aol.com 

Date:    Thu, 8 Apr 2004 22:54:15 EDT

Subject:            your a freaking moron!

             

you r a moron!!!!! not me or my peeps!               lol 2 u!!!!!!!!! loser!

From: "Nick Marzano" <supanick@comcast.net> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2004 21:01:03 -0700

     

i am a freakin moron

From: "CraigAHL" <craig@ahollywoodlegend.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 19:57:14 -0700

i am dumb as shit

From: Unradtad@aol.com  

Date: Wed, 14 Apr 2004 02:13:33 EDT

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

im dumb 

From: "Tom L D Johnson" <tldjohnson@ameritech.net>  

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 15:43:38 -0400

     

umm sorry but you must be really dumb to make such a stupid website. go do something productive moron

oh and please dont take that literally I just feel sorry for people like you

From: AmySLake@aol.com  

Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 20:40:04 EDT

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

im a iteit! 

From: "Amy" <fulldomination@hotmail.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Fri, 16 Apr 2004 11:58:56 -0500

I farted on my teacher while she was writing on the chalk board.  She wrote me up and I got ISS 

From: "Nick Marzano" <supanick@comcast.net> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 11:41:29 -0700

you little piece of shit I am going to come over to your house and make you fuck with a sheep!!!!! FUCKER

From: "angry visitor" <Yusuke987@hotmail.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2004 20:36:48 -0700

     

you are a freaking moron you idiot. you wasted your time to make a web sit that no one knows about. Anyway who would insult their self.

From: "Gerry Burchat" <gburchat@sympatico.ca> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Wed, 5 May 2004 19:03:14 -0400

     

blah, blah,blah

Freddy here repeated his line 120 times.  I edited for readability.

From: "Fredric Biltz" <dric@localnet.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Thu, 6 May 2004 00:00:45 -0500

     

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

and the piano kept on drinking....

From: "Adam Vivian" <Fred_Fredish@hotmail.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron, and love your site!

Date: Tue, 11 May 2004 20:30:30 +0100

     

Dear U,

                i'm ahuge fan of your site! I visit it everyday,

sometimes twice!

          people say i am a dumb ass, and thats why im talking to you

                   does this make me dumb.

      i've put my dick in a toaster

         i cant tie my sneakers

     my girlfriend went off with my brother who is a cop

           i burnt my hand on a pop tart when i put my hand in a

shmores

one

                 tank you for readin this

             from fred boulton

Tea cakes didn't send a message either.  Just clicked the link and hit send.  Lazy moron.

From: "Tea cakes" <shorty_adam@hotmail.com> 

Subject: I'm a freaking moron!

Date: Thu, 13 May 2004 12:12:26 +0100